You melt in front of his eyes. You see his heart laid bare before you and all your trivial theological discussions fall flat on their faces. The heart of a pastor is something that cannot be communicated in the words of a book. I just spoke with one (a pastor), and he said something very amazing a life changing to me: "Yea, I have to lay out all that's in my heart in 10 minutes...that's alot to ask of a man." He then asked for my prayers, and I guaranteed him that I would. There is something about that kind of heart that makes me envious. My pastor has it, his brother has it, John Piper has it, Spurgeon had it, my dad had it. It's a heart that Jesus says will be comforted: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"(Matt. 5:4). I have been taught that that passage teaches Christians to mourn for our sins and for the sins of the world. That is the kind of heart I want. A heart that sees sin the way God sees it. A heart that truly believes in the reality of the painful, destruction of hell, which is brought about by sin. A heart that genuinely cares for Sunset Acres. I think this will inspire me to study with vehmence. I think this will remind me to rely upon God, because he is the only one who can forgive sins.

O Father give me a heart like your Son a heart that cares, a heart of compassion. Let not my study what it says interfere with my study of why it says it. Draw me closer to your you. Bathe me in your Spirit that I might have its power, the power that sees laying down your life as more profitable than living it. My I not live for myself, but as one bought with a price, redeemed by the blood of His cross, reconciled to my creator forever. My heart is laid open before you, may your will be done, not mine.

Tulsa, a real eye opener.

I have spent this past week in Tulsa, OK visiting and ministering with our satellite church, Springs of Grace Bible Church. The week was filled with great teaching, fellowship, and opportunity to share the Gospel. The entire trip showed me alot about God, myself, and our relationship.

The Teaching

To the one I love:

"It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next [study at the library], I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not [here four days from now]. Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you."

Your Twix